Thursday, July 7, 2011

the w.h.o.l.e. truth & nothing but the truth

Due to a number of things, (which I have outlined in a post that I have chosen not to publish just yet, because in all they boil down to the Lord's sovereignty anyhow), both my {dh} & I are without employment. Whenever I thought of my transition from serving into something else, I never dreamed it would be at the very same time that my {dh} was graduating from college and also looking for work, but that, ladies and gentlemen, is our case. In a perfect world before such a transition, my {dh} would have been steadily employed. And then I, for one, would already have a job lined up that I would be transitioning into, or perhaps I would be heading into grad-school, or even better, I'd be being driven to the hospital to deliver my baby. Well, none of those things are happening or currently even a possibility on the horizon. Needless to say, it has put a strain on things and I find myself crying without notice on some days when a do-weller asks, "how are you?" or "how's the job search going?" I don't even like to crawl out of bed in the morning, because immediately upon waking up I am bombarded with thoughts about how are we ever going to make rent & bills for next month even with all the little odd-jobs I've managed to pick up. Nothing seems enough. Am I depressed? Perhaps, I mean it's probably perfectly normal to crack under this kind of strain, but even so, it's never a joy to experience.

Today was one of those weepy days.

Stress upon stress was weighing upon me from the time I woke up. Then having gotten an even later start due to a kink related to deadline for another project related to truth school, I mustered up the strength to head out the door. There was not a dry moment for my eyes during the entire drive over to a sister's house that I had arranged to clean today. Pulling into her driveway I managed to wipe my eyes even though no one was supposed to be home inside anyways, but to my great surprise I was greeted by {g.b}, a dear 83yr-old sister whom I admire and love very much and who happens to have been a good friend of my {granny} as well. When she asked how I was, the tears began to fall... and I admitted that it wasn't going so well. Then I began to tell her a little about what was going on with and within me. She asked what she could do, and I just asked for her prayers. She listened to me throughout the time I was there and spoke to me of other things as well. Her companionship during this time was such a blessing. She reminded me to Praise the Lord and to Thank Him. You know, not just for the good things, but the not so great things. Like, "Thank You Lord, I'm so weepy." It made me kind of laugh to say it. She said that Praising and Thanking help us to realize the blessings in all things... especially the things that we typically don't consider blessings and are tough to go through.

I truly felt so blessed to have gotten to spend those hours there at the house while I cleaned just fellowshipping and praying and praising the Lord with her. It's like I was getting my feet washed just by being with her. The Lord knew just who I needed to see that day.

More of {grandma bobbie}'s words of wisdom:

God is completely WHOLE.

Well.
Happy.
Obedient.
Loving.
Energetic.

and He's making us the same as He is
in life & nature, but not in the Godhead.
So we too are becoming completely w.h.o.l.e.
Drop by drop.

Say it out-loud:

I am well.
I am happy.
I am obedient.
I am loving.
I am energetic.

Regardless how we feel, we should declare this divine fact and enjoy it as our reality.

Praise the Lord!
Thank You, Lord, for everything!

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